Song Lyrics Adam Sandler - The Buffoon The Dean of Admissions    [Lyrics & Song Text Archive]
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Author/Artist/Singer: Adam Sandler
Music Title/Track: The Buffoon The Dean of Admissions
Theme ID: 5192
Album: N/A

Performed by adam sandler and conan o brien :

"and now a buffoons meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

Dean: "well michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall."

Buffoon: "i got a snake, man!"

Dean: "yes, pets are welcome here on campus. be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile."

Buffoon: "one time I fed it some beer man! it was slithering this way and that! it was all fucked up!"

Dean: "im sure it was. well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus."

Buffoon: "fuckin shit!"

Dean: "yes, thats a not uncommon reaction to this policy. so tell me a little bit more about your background."

Buffoon: "my fathers a fucking asshole, man!"

Dean: "hmm, I see. your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son."

Buffoon: "my mothers a piece of shit too!"

Dean: "well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn."

Buffoon: "my teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man! she had her head way up her ass!"

Dean: "well the quality of the faculty at a university such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school."

Buffoon: "your secretarys a real fat bitch, man!"

Dean: "yes, shes tried many diets over the years with minimal success."

Buffoon: "i had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!"

Dean: "uh huh, well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience. so have you given any thought to your choice of major? "

Buffoon: "ive got a big fucking boner right now."

Dean: "i see. well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension. I do not take offense."

Buffoon: "one time I ate my neighbors shit!"

Dean: "thats understandable. well, I enjoyed meeting you. well be sending you our decision by the end of the month."

Buffoon: "i bet you got really hairy balls."

Dean: "yes, its a veritable forest down there. bye bye."

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