Song Lyrics Berlin Irving - Im Afraid, Pretty Maid, Im Afraid (6 Feb 1912)    [Lyrics & Song Text Archive] lyrics archive>> B>> Berlin Irving Singer Lyrics [Berlin Irving other resources]>> Im Afraid, Pretty Maid, Im Afraid (6 Feb 1912) Song Lyrics Author/Artist/Singer: Berlin Irving Music Title/Track: Im Afraid, Pretty Maid, Im Afraid (6 Feb 1912) Theme ID: 19960 Album: N/A [1st verse:] Two old sweethearts met the other day On a crowded car and started talking "I'm so glad to see you," said the maid "Let's get off the car and do some walking" "Pardon me," said the fellow with a sigh "Things that have happen'd don't allow Walks we had in the days gone by Are walks we can't have now" [chorus:] I'd like to take you walking But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid What's the good of talking When I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid I'm married now and my walking days are done My wife's right hand weighs a half a ton Gee! I'd like to have a little bit of fun But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid [2nd verse:] "Please don't tempt me," said the married man "Knowing that my wife is strong and lively If she ever heard about the plan She'd decorate my room with poison ivy You'd enjoy if I took you out to dine But then it wouldn't be a joke I would think of that wife of mine And then I know I'd choke" [2nd chorus:] I'd like to take you walking But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid What's the good of talking When I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid My wife's right hand wears a bunch of pointed rings Any time she hits, you bet it stings Gee! I'd like to do a lot of things But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid [alternate 2nd verse:] "I'm so sorry," said the married man "I'd enjoy a couple of your kisses But my wife aims like nobody can Any time she throws she never misses My wife went to a magic school to learn She's a magician, never fear! If she knew, I'm afraid she'd turn My nose into an ear [alternate 2nd chorus:] I'd like to take you walking But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid What's the good of talking When I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid My wife believes that a woman shouldn't talk Only with a poker or a fork Gee! I'd like to take you for a walk But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid [alternate 1st verse (double version):] "How do, stranger, you're always on the go" "Well, I must admit that I've been quite a stranger" "Remember how we flirted years ago?" "Yes, if we flirted now, we'd only flirt with danger!" "So let's go where we can have a quiet talk" "Oh, excuse me, I must be on the run" "Now for old times sake let us take a walk" "No, I said it can't be done" "Why?" 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