Song Lyrics Leary Denis - Asshole    [Lyrics & Song Text Archive] lyrics archive>> L>> Leary Denis Singer Lyrics [Leary Denis other resources]>> Asshole Song Lyrics Author/Artist/Singer: Leary Denis Music Title/Track: Asshole Theme ID: 4955 Album: N/A DENIS LEARY - ASSHOLE (Spoken) Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know. (Sung) I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table and a cuban cigar. But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no) no way (uh-uh) No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense (oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, While people behind me are going insane. I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole) I use public toilets and piss on the seat, I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?" I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, While handicapped people make handicapped faces. I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole) Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong NAAAAH! I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole) (Spoken) Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado, hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive... (Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?) Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole! (Sung) I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) A S-S H-O L-E Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom Oooooooo (Spoken) I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it! (Chris mouths: Asshole Related Lyrics Random lyrics: Adrenaline Rush, Crash Flight, Croatian, Evil Speaks, I Am Your Conscience, Mortal Thoughts, Nothing Seen Nothing, Red Meat Attraction, Strap Me Down, Adrenalin Rush, Adrenaline Rush, Anger Is A Part Of Me, Another World, Antius, Antius Psycho Strip Edit, Black Gold, Crash Flight, Crash Flight 232, Crash Flight 232 92, Croatia, Croatian, Dont Tame Your Soul, Evil Speaks, Go Fuck Your Ass Off, I Am Your Conscience, Make My Blood Boil, Mohawk, Mortal Thoughts, Nosecandy, Nothing Seen - Nothing Done, Nothing Seen Nothing, Nothing Seen Nothing Done, Red Meat Attraction, Strap Me Down, Torment Me, Torture A Suicide Note, Whisper Your Poetry, You Know Where To Put It, Alone In The Sun, Breathe, Catch, Crazy, Deep Blue, Epitaph, I Go Down, Race, Silence, Sunday Lover, Suppose, We, Other Leary Denis song Lyrics Elvis And I Lyrics Lifes Gonna Suck Lyrics Save This Lyrics The Downtrodden Song Lyrics Traditional Irish Folk Song Lyrics Voices In My Head Lyrics Other Artists Denis Leary Lyrics Leary Dennis Lyrics Leather Heather Lyrics Leather Strip Lyrics Leatherstrip Lyrics Leaves Lyrics Leaves Colorful Lyrics Leblanc Lyrics Leblanc And Carr Lyrics Lebo M Lyrics All lyrics are property and copyright of their owners and are strictly for educational purposes only. lyricstrue.net Copyright © 2005-2007 All Rights Reserved., , Privacy policy