Song Lyrics Unknown - Song Of The Temperance Union    [Lyrics & Song Text Archive] lyrics archive>> U>> Unknown Singer Lyrics [Unknown other resources]>> Song Of The Temperance Union Song Lyrics Author/Artist/Singer: Unknown Music Title/Track: Song Of The Temperance Union Theme ID: 5515 Album: N/A THE SONG OF THE TEMPERANCE UNION We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band On the right side of temp'rance we do take our stand. We don't use tobacco, because we do think That the people who use it are likely to drink Away, away, with rum, by gum, Rum by gum, rum by gum Away, away, with rum, by gum, The song of the Temperance Union. We never eat fruitcake because it has rum, And one little slice puts a man on the bum. Oh, can you imagine the pitiful plight Of a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight? A man who eats fruitcake lives a terrible life. He's mean to his children and beats on his wife. A man who eats fruitcake dies a terrible death, With the odor of raisins and rum on his breath! We never eat cookies because they have yeast, And one little bite turns a man to a beast. Oh, can you imagine the utter disgrace Of a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face? We never drink water -- they put it in gin, And one little sip and a man starts to grin. Oh, can you imagine a sorrier sight Than a man drinking water and singing all night? We never eat peaches because they ferment, And a peach will ferment at the least little dent. Oh, can you imagine a sight more obscene, Than a man getting tipsy on peaches and cream! Beware of plum pudding, the kind that they light. They drench it in brandy so it will ignite. The thought is revolting to temperate folk, For people go blotto inhaling the smoke. We never touch coffee; it makes our eyes gleam, At least when they add Irish whiskey and cream. Oh, can you imagine a fate more unkind Than sluggin' down coffee and going stone blind? We never drink milkshakes 'cause they're made with malt, And one little slurp makes your brain somersalt. Oh, can you imagine behavior so rash As bartop gymnastics with a frothy mustache We never play jumprope 'cause jumpers take hops, And once they start hopping, they hops 'til they drops. This vile degradation starts out as a game And grammar school innocence turns into shame. We never have backrubs because it's a crime, And we will oppose them in song and in rhyme. For an alcohol backrub is worse than straight gin When you think of the liquor absorbed through the skin. We never use Brylcream 'cause that's got bay rum, And too many rubbings can turn your head numb, But if there's a thought that'll leave you in fits, Just imagine the millions of paralytic nits. Now if you go hiking and get sores on your feet, Don't use rubbing spirits as a means for to treat, 'Cause it seeps through the pores of your feet by osmosis, And you end up by having ten drunk little toesis. We never eat cornflakes because they have malt, And we can't imagine a much greater fault. Oh, can you imagine a sight that's more droll Than a woman at breakfast slumped over her bowl! We never dance Morris -- you have to drink ale, And respectable people, who see us, turn pale. Oh, can you imagine the staggering sight Of a man who drinks ale, dancing ''Saturday Night?'' @drink filename[ AWAYRUM2 BR ===DOCUMENT BOUNDARY Related Lyrics Random lyrics: South Street Waltz, Southrups Wassail Song, Sow Took The Measles, Spancil Hill, Spanish Is The Loving Tongue, Spanish Ladies, Spencer The Rover, Sperry Rand, Spinning Wheel, Spirit Keeper, Sportin Bachelors, Sporting Life Blues, Spree, Spring Glee, Springfield Mountain, Squidjigging Ground, Sri Lanka Anthem Text, Sri Lanka Native Anthem Text, St Francis Prayer, St James Infirmary, Stagolee, Staines Morris, Standing Stones, Star Of Belle Isle, Star Of The County Down, Star Spangled Banner, Starlight On The Rails, Starving To Death On My Government Claim, State Of Arkansas, State Of Arkansaw, State Of Yugoslavia, Stately Southerner, Stealin Stealin, Step It Out Nancy, Step Stone, Stewball, Stokess Verdict, Stonewall Jacksons Way, Stormalong, Storms Are On The Ocean, Stormy Weather Boys, Story Of Macpherson, Story Of Petey The Snake, Stoutest Man In The Forty Twa, Strange Fruit, Strangers In My Soup, Stratton Mountain Tragedy, Strawberry Roan, Streams Of Lovely Nancy, Streets Of Laredo Cowboys Lament, Other Unknown song Lyrics 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall Lyrics A Bird in a Gilded Cage Lyrics A Fenian Song Lyrics A Fool Such As I Lyrics A Friend Like You Lyrics A Hero of the Wrong War Lyrics A Horse Named Bill Lyrics A Hundred Years from Now Lyrics A Kangaroo Sat on an Oak Lyrics A Little Bit of Solitude Lyrics A Living Wage Lyrics ...Show All Other Artists Unknown Prophets Lyrics Unleashed Lyrics Unleashed Power Lyrics Unlimited Nation Lyrics Unlimited Sound Lyrics UNLOCO Lyrics Unlord Lyrics UNLV Lyrics Unni Wilhelmsen Lyrics Uno Svenningsson Lyrics All lyrics are property and copyright of their owners and are strictly for educational purposes only. lyricstrue.net Copyright © 2005-2007 All Rights Reserved., , Privacy policy