Song Lyrics Wierd Al Yankovic - Your Horoscope For Today    [Lyrics & Song Text Archive] lyrics archive>> W>> Wierd Al Yankovic Singer Lyrics>> Your Horoscope For Today Song Lyrics Author/Artist/Singer: Wierd Al Yankovic Music Title/Track: Your Horoscope For Today Theme ID: 9632 Album: N/A Aquarius! There's travel in your future when your toungue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day Pisces! Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus You are the true lord of the dance no matter what those idiots at work say Aries! The look on your face will be priceless when they find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf and give a hickey to Merryl Streep Taurus! You will never find true happiness-what ya gonna do? Cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today Gemini! Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest Cancer! The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your drivers test Leo! Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss' face (oh no) Eat a bucket of tuna flavoured pudding and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry quik Virgo! All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent-except for you Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep siginificance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you but let me give you my assurance that forcasts and predictions are all based on solid scientific documented evidence so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realise that every single one of there is absolutely true-where was I? Libra! A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine...remember that when your appendix bursts next week Scorpio! Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window Worka a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem...you stupid freak Sagittarius! All your friends are laughing behind your back.....kill them Take down all those naked pictures of Earnest Borgnine you've got haning in your den Capricorn! The stars say that your an exciting and wonderful person but you know they're lying If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today That's your horoscope for today Related Lyrics Random lyrics: New Mexico, Shes In The Bedroom Crying, String Of Bad Love, Their Hearts Are Dancing, Why, Why(Correct), Dare, Dont You Wish, Haunted Heart, I Wanna Be Bad (Remix), Jokes On You, Ooh Ooh, Prince Charming, Somebody Take The Pain Away, Tender, Tired, Kansas City, All Of A Sudden, Almost Persuaded, Always Alone, Answer Me My Love, Barbara Allen, Beneath The Willow Tree, Big Heartbreak, Big River Train, Blue Blue Day, Blues Plus Booze (means I Lose), Breaking In A Brand New Broken Heart, Bring Me Back My Heart, Burning Bridges, Cigareets Whusky And Wild Wild Women, Cotton Fields, Crazy Arms, Cry Cry Darling, Distant Drums, Drifting Apart, Drink Up And Go Home, Empty Arms, First Step Down (is The Longest), Fool Me One More Time, Give Them The Roses Now, Glass On The Table, Goody Goody Gumdrop, Graveyard Shift, Happy Street, Happy Tracks, Hey Mr Bluebird, Hurt Her Once For Me, I Almost Lost My Mind, I Dreamed Of An Old Love Affair, Other Wierd Al Yankovic song Lyrics Dare to be Stupid Lyrics Gump Lyrics Other Artists wierd ale yankobitch Lyrics Wig Lyrics Wigald Boning Lyrics Wiggins John And Audrey Lyrics Wila Ford Lyrics Wilbert Harrison Lyrics Wilburn Brothers Lyrics Wilburys Traveling Lyrics Wilco Lyrics Wilcox David Lyrics All lyrics are property and copyright of their owners and are strictly for educational purposes only. lyricstrue.net Copyright © 2005-2007 All Rights Reserved., , Privacy policy